4-10-2(III)(backlog)

Today has been a tiring day. Not physically, but mentally. It's an alternating of anger, hatred, guilty, happiness, joy, love and contentment.

For the first time, I experienced so much emotions in one day.

Anger - Was super angry with myself for not being able to understand the simplicity of processes for perception and listening. Coming from the background of studying communication, I realized I made the most sinful mistake of mixing such things up. Somehow, I'm even more angry at myself for not being able to memorize those stuff.

Hatred - I hate myself for having such limitations and not being able to memorize it. I hate it most when I know it's a simple quiz, yet I failed at grabbing those marks. And it's 10 marks out of 45. There was no excuse for it.

Guilt - I feel guilty for the fact that I didn't do as well as I could have been. Knowing especially the amount of effort I've put in in so minimum and still expecting so much. I'm even more guilty that I can let important dates like today (Ming's bday). His return message was he has been waiting for my message since morning. Sometimes, I really wonder if I'm worthy of anything good in life.

Happiness, joy & love: Went for networking event on entrepreneurship and was recharged by a senior business man. What really brightened up my day was Gladys willingness to help me despite not knowing how to help me in any way. It's those simple things that got me so touched that such unworthy creature has such amazing friends.

Contentment: I wept today again. Haha. It felt so good. Not for no apparent reason. But the mount up pressure inside of me and full impact of watching Creation. I've always wanted to watch it, but can't seem to get the right one. Finally watched it this evening and I let the tears flowed freely. I then begin to realize, it's not that I don't need any person to talk to or connect, it's that I'm too emotionally detached from everything. Perhaps that is why it is apt to call me Tin Man after all. Despite going through such excruciating pain, I still want to continue on this journey of crazy and beautiful life.

3-10-2(III)(backlog)

Today has been a terrible day for me. One of the worst nightmare of my life to be honest. Now it's already 2.04am and I can't seem to study any more! Sigh...this is one of those days where I wish I can have someone beside me and just enjoy the silence.

The truth is still the truth. There's no chance of changing it now and crying over spilled milk. Went for a walk around hall, walked from old can a to hall and ya, I still want to walk! :(

So far, only managed to cover chap 1, 3-7. Still left chap 2 & 15. :( Haiz...this is one of those days I wish I can sleep over all those worries...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUi54JTgL5s&ob=av2n

2-10-2(III)(backlog)

Having to recount really sucks! Can't wait to break the record....

In any case, I'm super pissed off by my CV2301 tutor. His frivolous method of teaching totally killed my passion for asking question today. I nearly wanted to leave during the tutorials half way because he's not helping in any sense. Eg: how is this graph drawn in this manner, he will like, there, you see the equation and you will know. Very easy. WTF. If I know how to see equation, I won't need to ask you already right? Thinking about it makes me mad now still.

In the afternoon was a little bit productive. Managed to complete one question of autocad. Despite the fact hat I spent like 1h to do one question, which is like super ineffective, I still feel the sense of satisfaction because it's like programming, just that everything is new and doing it seems challenging. Well, it's for tomorrow's lab, so I'm glad I've more time to other 2 questions tomorrow. :)

Night was a little slow at the start. But some time around 9-11pm, I can't believe I was mugging like crazy. Primarily I totally forgot that I've a quiz on Friday for CS100! 8 chapters and I just completed 2 only! Gosh, this is insane! Feeling super stress now!

And the fact that I've sent out a sms and she hasn't reply till now is a little worrisome for me. Not sure if it's a good thing though. Thankful that I still can focus and not sitting around worrying. Well, back to work.

1-10-2(III)(backlog)

I feel like killing myself for not blogging last night! Had to restart the counter all over again! :(

In any case, it was a busy day yesterday. Had tons of fun during BS class last night and I reckon TPY is a really intriguing centre in the sense the people though don't meet pretty often, are quite bonded. It very much reminds me of CKP, just that the level of love reciprocated is on a different level.

8.30am lecture was a crazy one too. Only glad I started off the week on a good note and continuing the momentum now. Was so busy preparing the quiz for today that I nearly died yesterday fearing I'm not able to complete the tutorials and revision.

Check on academic: thus far, I'm now on track for CV2001 (because of quiz today), CV2601 and....omg...that's all. Shit. Lagging behind for Cv2101 and CV2301. Gosh, need to buck up and pick up more speed. Have transferred my stuff over to Joey's hall. I will be having MiE project tonight, so ya, expecting today to be another long day.

Two biggest happiness for today (as of now), the morning message from Debs and a pretty manageable quiz fro Cv2001. Today's an awesome day! :)

(on a side note, here's something interesting)

Your love life is still super-charged right now -- so if it doesn't seem that way to you, get out there and make something happen! You need to make sure that you're better equipped for romance.

So cool right? :)

10-2(III)(backlog)

Yes! Finally crossed the double digit mark! :) Not sure how long this can go on, but I'm hoping I can continue this trend for one month at least.

In retrospect to what I've done over the holidays, I realized that I'd a good R&R, but I didn't exactly finish the work I was tasked to finish. Yes, I did complete my lab report (which took me like 2 days to complete) and the other academic I did was going through some statistics lecture notes. Tuesday is the quiz and I'm still not prepared for it. I'm seriously asking for trouble.

A quick recap, Monday was WSC VOC & catching up with Sze Yong and Faizal. Tuesday was a rest day for me. Was feeling super terrible. Wednesday went to school to "attempt to complete" the lab report while night was spent discussing EN105. Thursday was better in the sense I finished with majority of the lab report thanks to Deborah's assistance. Then Friday was CKP video recording day, night I can't exactly recall, but all I remembered was it was an emotional day. Yesterday was busy as I spent the whole day doing EN105 stuff. And today, touched up the lab report and finally finished with the printing! Cool. Then did a few questions on statistics tutorial 1 questions. :(

Time to buck up Tin Man! More way to go if you want to hit above 3....And you need to be more knowledgeable so you will be able to help her in her studies! Guess that's my main source of motivation to do well now. Lol. Not a very valid and purposeful reason, but a good enough one to keep my system going for now.

9-2(III)(backlog)

I think for the first time, I'm quite flabber-gusted at what happened tonight. I reckon the more I keep in touch with this person, the more euphoric I feel. When the person messages at such fast pace, I feel the adrenaline rush to want to know the content. When there's no message after a reply, I'm constantly looking at the phone to see if I actually miss the sms alert. Lol. Signs and symptoms....it's so obvious now. There is no denying. :)

Today has been a rather fast day for me. Woke up late and had to take cab to school for MiE lesson. Again, it was an insightful to learn from the experienced entrepreneur who have been there and done that. He is one straight forward guy, very on the ball and best of all, non-academic. Haha. Apart from one of the EN103 instructor that I truly admire and respect because of his thinking philosophy and precision on business aspects, I think I admire this guy's success and philosophy too. Very anal about how we as humans/ students, define certain terminology. I like. :)

Evening was spent discussing about the project and making amendments for surveys. Yawns. Boring but crucial part about analysis research and feasibility study. Cool stuff. And it's indeed true, I reckon it's about time I start venturing into some tech ventures and get my hands dirty with such stuff. Techs seems to be the next wave of mega millions in the shortest possible time and greatest scalability factor. Duh....just that it takes some time to get into my thick-skull....and convincing myself that all the hard work & commitment is worth the effort. Haha.

8-2(III)(backlog)

It doesn't mean you are a pessimist, it just means the world is more optimistic than you are right now. Haha. I totally love this phrase for once!

Today has been a rather loving day. Despite waking up at 12+, took lunch at home and rushed down to Yishun to meet up with CKP for video recording. Was supposed to have lunch with them at 12.30pm but oh well, some things just don't turn out quite right.

Had tons of fun recording. Everyone was "stressed out", Desiree kept saying,"it feels like my heart is going to give way soon". So hilarious. The entire recording was much faster than we anticipated. It was short and sweet, not to mention fun. :) Even had time to go to Safra to take a tour and played at some stupid machines. Haha.

The evening was a little emotional for me. Watched Toy Story 3 and the entire plot was filled with plenty of emotions. Excitement, hysteric, romance and of course, love and friendship. So I totally fell in momentum of the show when it ended. Happy and emotional at the same time. Then spent another hour packing my table and yup, here I am typing and preparing for tomorrow's entre lesson in school.